There are women who become mothers to their own children, and then there are women who spend the rest of their lives becoming mothers to everyone else. Nancy Ludlow was one of those special women.
Nancy Joan Bauer Ludlow, 87, of Southport, North Carolina, passed away peacefully on July 23 after a life devoted to faith, family, and friendship.
She was born April 8, 1939, in Washington, D.C., to Florence Bower Bauer and James Francis Bauer. She grew up in Arlington, Virginia, as the oldest of six children in a family shaped by the values of the Great Depression. From an early age she learned thrift, ingenuity, perseverance, and domestic skills that helped build a home with a loving focus on her husband and children.
A proud member of the Annandale High School Class of 1957, Nancy was a cheerleader, sang in the choir, and genuinely loved school. Even more, she treasured the friendships she made there. Her lifelong friends, Linda Marsden Dibbs and Larry Wrench, remained close to her until the very end—a testament to the loyalty and love that defined her life.
Following graduation, Nancy worked as a secretary for the Joint Chiefs of Staff at the Pentagon. During the Cuban Missile Crisis, confidential memoranda crossed her desk revealing just how close the world had come to nuclear war. She often recalled becoming physically ill as she read those documents, realizing history—and the potential fate of the world—was unfolding in front of her.
Nancy liked to tell the story of meeting her first love with a smile—falling off a bus—and caught by the handsome Arnett “Buzzy” Ludlow. That encounter led to a courtship and a marriage in 1960, just before Buzzy left for Army basic training. He would later become one of the Fairfax County Fire Department’s first—and youngest—Battalion Chiefs.
They made their home in Franconia, Virginia, in a house built by Buzzy’s father, where they raised four children. Nancy poured herself into her family and her many friends through hard work and a telephone with a 15-foot cord. She volunteered at school and at St. Lawrence Catholic Church while somehow managing to chauffeur four busy kids to horseback riding lessons, karate classes, sporting events, piano lessons, and, in the case of her youngest son, countless trips to the emergency room after he managed to break 26 bones on a variety of sports surfaces over the course of two and a half years.
She taught her children far more than cooking, sewing, gardening, cleaning, and driving. She taught them how to solve problems, how to care for others, how to make a home, and how to pray through life’s inevitable challenges.
In the 1980s, Nancy joined the startup Landmark Systems Corporation. Thanks to her remarkable ability to make everyone feel welcome, she quickly advanced from receptionist to administrative supervisor. She often said it was the best job she ever had—except, of course, being a mom, and again built friendships with Kathy Clark and “Auntie” Cynthia Moore, which she prized to the end of her life.
Raising four children who could turn the smallest disagreement into an Olympic event produced more than a few memorable moments. Family lore recalls one December afternoon when the arguing had finally pushed Nancy to her limit. In exasperation, she threw up her hands and shouted at the top of her lungs, “Well, MERRY CHRISTMAS! I know Baby Jesus would never want to be born into a world where you kids are fighting all the time!” Fifty years later, the story has remained an annual tradition. Every Christmas, one of the four children inevitably finds an opportunity to loudly proclaim, “Well, MERRY CHRISTMAS!” before anyone else, making everyone laugh again as though they just invented it.
Following Buzzy’s death in 1993, Nancy moved to Southport, North Carolina, where she immersed herself in the life of Sacred Heart Catholic Church. Bible studies, rosary groups, volunteer ministries, and lifelong friendships filled her days. Her Catholic faith wasn’t simply something she practiced; it shaped the way she lived, loved, and spoke.
When her five grandchildren arrived, Nancy decided “Grandma” simply wasn’t distinctive enough. Always creative, she invented her own title: Grancy. Her children teased her that “Grancy” sounded more like a town somewhere in Alabama than a grandmother’s name, but the name stuck. Before long, family, neighbors, church friends, and eventually much of Southport knew her simply as “Grancy” or “Grance,” particularly Mandy and Marissa Smart who became bonus Ludlows quickly and for good. Spending time with young Marissa and the imaginative stories that bonded them inspired her to create her own audio storytelling website so children anywhere could listen to her endless adventures about animals or funny people.
The nickname fit because Nancy never limited her love to her own family. She delighted in becoming a surrogate mother or grandmother to anyone who needed one. Whether she was cheering from the bleachers at a ballgame, helping build high school floats, never being late for her daily global tele-Rosary, offering advice, or simply welcoming her card-playing buddies into her home, she had a gift for making people feel like they belonged. To know Grancy was to feel loved.
Nancy loved to read, count pelicans on the Cape Fear River, volunteer at church and school, and Christmas was never complete without her snickerdoodles. She loved to sing—loud enough for the Saints to know she was in church—adored her Washington Redskins and Washington Capitals, and treasured an impressive vinyl record collection that ranged from Elvis Presley to the Bee Gees.
She also possessed a laugh that announced her arrival long before she entered a room. She never liked the teasing about how loud she was, but to those who loved her, hearing that unmistakable laugh meant the social butterfly was ready to start hugging people.
Nancy is survived by her children, Adam Ludlow, Amy Burns, Ann Marie Kennon, and Andrew Ludlow; five beloved grandchildren; C.K., Caden, Jackson, and Baylor Ludlow, and Jack Gardner; her siblings, Mark Bauer, Sue Whitehurst, and Margie Shairer; many grand- and great- nieces and nephews, extended family members, and dear friends.
She was preceded in death by her husband, Arnett “Buzzy” Ludlow; her parents, Florence and James Bauer; and her brothers, James and Ted Bauer.
A Funeral Mass will be celebrated at Sacred Heart Catholic Church in Southport, North Carolina, on Friday, July 31, at 12:00pm.
Interment at Mount Comfort Cemetery in Alexandria, Virginia, will be announced at a later date.
Peacock – Newnam & White Funeral and Cremation Service, Southport
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